Rewards for Gang of Three conspirators

A dispatch from THAMUS (Celts & CATS leader)

The Cats and Thane Security service yesterday put a price on the head of three main mischief makers in the conspiracy to bring aliens from the Great Nebula in Lemur.
The alien-lemur alliance is plotting to set up a bridgehead in the Celtic Thane homeland of Thomond, from which the combined gangs of aliens and lemurs will overrun first Europe and then establish a world dictatorship in the lemur homeland of Madagascar.
Raptor Air Support will provide air cover and disgusting white, wet and sticky carpet-bombing for the invasion. The rabbits' Long Eared League will contribute a lot of fucking about.
"You haven't put much of a price on these criminals' heads," a reporter from the Plain Thane newspaper put it to Klaws McKibble, the deputy director of the CATS intelligence branch.
"In all honesty we couldn't offer the public more than their actual miserable worth," McKibble replied. "We're talking pissed old furball with a penchant for aging sex kittens here, not some Osama Bent Lemur."
Asked why the female rabbit conspirator, who is considered to have a minor role as Annoying Furry Reproducer Responsible for Cannon Fodder, merited a higher reward, McKibble smiled enigmatically and would only say, "market forces."

Wikipedia lemur facts echo Thanes

A dispatch from THAMUS (Celts & CATS leader)


The highly-respected Internet Wikiedia project has finally vindicated Celtic Thane warnings of the evil intentions of lemurs and their plotting with the aliens of the Great Nebula in Lemur for world domination.
Every Thane expose has been greeted by a certain noisy lemur leader, (e.g., viz. EMMUTTMAX, op. cit., ibid.) and various sycophantic babbling BUNNIES and BIRDIES with howls of "propaganda."
They will be hard pressed to denounce the authoritative voice - and images [above] of the Internet's much-praised encyclopedia makers. From the text:
Lemurs are demonic creatures known for their mind possessing powers and extreme hostility. Different kinds of Lemurs exist. They all look like cute little monkeys with long furry tails. They have big glowing eyes, but watch out... The Lemur has enough venom to kill the entire population of Chicago. The most famous lemur is Lemur Emmuttmax.
Remember: Always spell "Lemur" with a capital letter (preferably "L"). If you don't, Lemurs will gobble up you and your children.
Footnote: There is an exception to this rule. It is a Thane tradition always to spell lemur with as small a capital as possible.
Facts about Lemurs
* Lemurs are evil
* Lemurs smell funny
* Lemurs discovered America before people did
* Lemur crap can be used as a powerful jet fuel
Where do Lemurs live?
Absolutely everywhere! In forests, cities, sewers, deserts, mountains, on the North Pole. Just turn around, there might be a Lemur behind you right now. If there's not one behind you, then you must be the Lemur.

"If a Lemur were Prime Minister then England would be Madagascar and I would be King. Uh, what did you put in this punch, Coleridge?" ~ Oscar Wilde on Lemurs