By the Great Nebula in Lemur

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Here is the enemy... here it begins...

The Time
A warped present, coexisting with some elements of the past and some of the near future.
The Place
A parallel universe with small differences from ours. There is a Lemur constellation, for example.
The Protagonists
The Lemurs - A ring-tailed pre-simian race headquartered in Madagascar but dispersed across the world. Their leader Emmuttmax has made a secret Faustian pact with shadowy aliens from a planet in the Great Nebula of Lemur. The aim appears to be a stealthy subjugation of earth.
The Aliens - Shadowy. From the Great Nebula in Lemur. That's it.
The Thanes - Remnants of an ancient Celtic clan of warriors, astronomers, poets and drinkers. They survive in a time warp in two small enclaves - Castle Thomond in the wilds of Clare, and the Fortress of the Thane Council on a Down coast. Their astronomers detected the alien-lemur alliance, but are ridiculed for their warnings. They fight alone with a few allies, all led by an aging warrior sage, Thamus, who bears the honorific but meaningless title, Thane of Thomond.
The Allies
Feline species: These have allied with the Thanes because of historical connections since ancient Egypt. Being cats, some are opportunists who drift to the lemur side, some females ply their feline charms anywhere with anyone. Despite unconvincing denials, the lemur Emmuttmax has been spotted more than once with a flashy feline floosie.
Bird species: Elite raptor units secretly agreed to provide air support for the lemurs but their Englander leader Rafcop is ambivalent about the war. He calls the Thanes' lemur-alien war theory "a load of paranoid ballocks." His timid non-predator bird tribes deeply distrust and fear the Thanes' cat allies, however, forcing Rafcop to support the lemurs.
Dogs: Hounds play no independent role in the conflict. Being dogs, they just lick the butts of whoever feeds them, and bite whoever they are told to. Emmuttmax keeps a gaggle of useless hounds led by Pathetic Bob, a self-explanatory name.
Minor species: Hamsters, mutants, dolphins and other rubbernecks add occasional color. The most active minor attention seeker is Happibun, a lemur ally. Her motivation is excitement, sorely lacking in suburban rabbit lives, aside from compulsive reproducing. But this female leader of the Long-ear League often seems to be on the wrong side and is rumored to have a soft spot for the Thane leader. Rabbity militarism bemuses combatants on both sides and phrases like "cannon fodder" and "rabbit pie" are often bandied about.
The Battleground
Wherever a lemur paw treads! A most important battle is for public opinion. The "public" is a dispersed global network of virtual communities known as The Stumbles. The residents, or "stumblers," are legendary for their total indifference to the Celtic-Lemur-Alien war raging around them.
The Plot, in their words
Thamus, the thane - "It is our destiny to save an ungrateful planet from smelly lemurs, sinister aliens and bird poop falling from our skies. To fortify our resolve, we brew a number of superior Irish malts in Castle Thomond and launch raids on the enemy."
Emmuttmax, the lemur - "Those hairy drunken Thanes interpret the world through the cloudy bottoms of whiskey glasses with unfocused eyeballs and short-circuited synapses. Theirs is a world of imaginary aliens, conspiracies, bird air forces, warrior rabbits, and lemurs that aren't the bright, furry peace-lovers we all know and love. What can I tell you? Glug, glug, glug - you know what I mean."
Rafcop, the raptor - "Plot? There's a plot behind all this crap?"
Happibun, the rabbit - "Why can't we all just hop over to my burrow for a nice cup of tea and a carrot, and talk things over pleasantly."
[PICTURE: War cloud - the Great Nebula in Lemur]

Genesis: The beginning: First post
How it all started is summarized here - Genesis: How it began. This is where you start reading. The postings by the combatants continue chronologically from there.
No, not "logically". Tough!


These posts are uncut dispatches, news releases and propaganda from all sides in the conflict, collated for historical record by the Celtic-Lemur War Historians Panel. This a group of retired academics has nothing better to do. Each item is bylined as a "A dispatch from..."

©2006-2008 Copyright - Words and images remain the absolute property of the individuals in this collaboration. They have kindly granted us permission to use them in this blog.