World Lemur HQ exposed

A dispatch from Thamus (Celts & CATS leader)

By the Celtic gods of Thomond - it's worse than we thought. Following the Thane astronomers' recent discovery of the Great Nebula in Lemur (below), they have now Stumbled Upon the answer to those long-reported "alien sightings" we are are all so familiar with. They are indeed already here.
To add brazenness to chutzpah, they have even erected their own subversive website and had the effrontery to title it "World Lemur Headquarters," no less.
The warning bells are sounding and I can only wonder if I am to be the first to ask that this community now question the alleged Stumbler "Emmuttmax" about his association with these creatures.
Is he perhaps acting as paid agent agent in loco lemuris until the Grand Prophet Lemurad arrives to take charge of our civilization? We have a right to know - and that imperative should override any alleged "furry rights" these characters and their pink-skinned media allies may invoke.
Take further warming from this nefarious web site, before it is too late - on the front page it openly challenges us to "Check eBay for lemurs".
Hah! Well, indeed, we will; we most certainly will.

Astronomers spot Lemur Great Nebula

A dispatch from Thamus (Celts & CATS leader)


* "By god Sir, there's something out there all right. It's a great nebula in Lemur!"
* "By god Sir, you're right. It may even be the Prophet Lemurad himself in the great nebula."

Genesis: How it began

IN the beginning was a word, and the word was a random review by Thamus (avatar, bearded Celtic warrior) of fellow Stumbleupon blogger Emmuttmax (avatar, lemur nibbling flower}. It was a bland review, as these things go:

Review of an Emmuttmax blog by Thamus
02 February 2006

The lemur notes in his stumbles blog, "A new law pending in the UK would give pets their own bill of rights. It's about damn time."
Well said, sir. Damn right it's damn time. Let's hope they'll appreciate it more than we do and not go off and elect some Meow W. Puss to take it all away again.
You've got a "nice" pocketful of stumbles here...

A peeved response, by Emmuttmax
02 February 2006

Sir,
Damn your Celtic impertinence! Nice? Nice? I am not nice, and neither are the online ramblings of my brilliant simian soul, on which you so rashly presume to comment.
I expect apologies to wing my way forthwith. Failing that, I shall be obliged to put to the test the knowledge I have recently acquired in my broadsword combat correspondence course, specifically designed for teaching whiskey pickled bog-trotting Celts a lesson to remember.
Yours indignantly,
Emmuttmax

Well, that was it really. The response generated the following:
Letter to the Lemur, by Thamus
03 Feb 06

Sir,
While I make due allowance for the limited intelligence of lemurs, I am appalled that my ill-intent should be so callously misconstrued. When I step in a blob of poodle crap and see the malodorous mess adhering to the sole of my shoe (not to mention the soul of my delicate Celtic sensitivity) my immediate reaction is, "Nice! Fucking nice!"
It was with equal disdain that I pondered the anal online ramblings (to echo your eloquent self-description) of a demented popeyed furball.
While I am aware that lemuriformes are a "type" of primate that was the evolutionary predecessor of the simian orders of monkeys and apes, the term "lemur" is itself derived from the Latin word "lemures," which means "spirits of the night".
It is apparent from your incoherent ramblings about broadsword correspondence courses that you had been over-imbibing those self-same "spirits of the night" before dispatching your aggrieved missive into the ether.
Let me categorically assure you that since no compliment was intended in my application of the sobriquet "nice" to those lemur droppings (which shall henceforth impart a new odor to the word "stumbles"), no apology will be forthcoming.
Celtic warriors do not apologize to simians, and while I personally have nothing against "your people", I would ask you to ponder, sir, whether such alcohol fumed outbursts are in some way responsible for the wave of rabid anti-Simianism that we have recently seen sweeping Western Europe.
Yours etc.
Thamus, Hereditary Thane of Thomond

Sporadic sniping ensues, and wisps of war clouds start to gather:
Rodent droppings, review of ErictheHamster by Thamus

23 Feb 06 Feb 07

Lemurs, hamsters - how many aberrant furballs are prowling through The Stumbles inviting us to inspect their droppings?
Harrumph! Being something of a hairy undergrowth prowler myself, I can't say I protest too much (weasels excepted). This Eric the Hamster is actually Erica the Hamstress. A cruel deception, but excellent droppings. Drop by and inspect.

Innocuous enough perhaps, but the hostilities were now palpable. and on the same day, Thamus dropped his bombshell announcement:

Astronomers spot Lemur Great Nebula

See that story above, and then continue to read and tremble ...